A Talk With My Brother
by cheri1
Summary: 10th Doctor. Part of my Something Old and New Series. The Doctor is feeling glum until Alan comes along to cheer him up.


The Doctor breathed a sigh of relief as he opened the door to his garden room inside the TARDIS. He was feeling low. He had gotten back from helping to save a civilization from enslavement on a planet near Andromeda but at the cost of several people he had made friends with, including women and children. Rain was with Rose in Daisy, taking the children to an amusement park and he was all alone in the house so he decided to use his garden room to do a bit of meditating and try to shake off the sadness he now felt.

The garden room was basically a little dirt path that wound through a botanical garden that had a waterfall at the center of it. The path was about a mile long as it went out through the garden, arched around and came back to the beginning. Along the way there were several wooden benches spaced out and positioned near scenic spots and the garden room was also home to several small creatures, birds and some non-biting and stinging insects, including a large assortment of butterflies. The simulated sky above was always sunny and the TARDIS kept the temperature at a pleasant 75 degrees Fahrenheit. The Doctor put his hands in his trouser pockets after he closed the door and strolled along the garden path, his eyes darting around while he looked at the assortment of colorful flowers and trees. He could hear birdsong above him and smiled when a tiny brown rabbit hopped across the path in front of him and hurried into the bushes. The TARDIS took care of the animals and always fed them so he wouldn't have to worry about doing it himself. As he walked, he felt some of his sadness drain away but he still felt tired and drained and it was at times like this that he wished he wasn't so old because he could truly feel his age.

After walked almost half of the way, he found the bench directly across from the waterfall and eased himself down onto it. The waterfall was cascading down a rocky cliff that was about forty feet high. Up at the top was a large pool of water that fed the waterfall and the TARDIS kept it constantly filled so there was no need for a river. The water fell into a large pond that was also maintained by the TARDIS so there was never any flooding. The whole thing was perfect and pleasant and it was one of the Doctor's favorite spots to come and meditate and reflect on his life. After he lost his Zero Room, he began using it more and more and once he was married to Rain, he brought her with him at times so they could be alone in the idyllic setting.

As the waterfall fell and the birds sang, the Doctor folded his hands in his lap, sat back against the wooden back of the bench and tried to relax. But even though he tried, he couldn't get the images of dying people out of his mind and the screams of his newfound friends, especially the children, depressed him even more.

He sat there for about twenty minutes, trying not to think and instead thinking even more of what happened and he was about to give up and go back into the house when he suddenly heard a cheerful whistle coming from his right somewhere along the path. He turned his head that way and watched as Alan strolled along towards him, whistling a cheerful tune. Alan beamed when he saw his brother and stopped in front of him.

"Greetings and salutations and a hap-hap-happy good morning to you," he said, patting him on the shoulder. "Hope you don't mind me being here, I felt like a stroll in the garden room and since Daisy is being used by my wife, I took the liberty of using yours. Nice to see you. Enjoy the loooovely waterfall, Brother."

He whistled as he walked past and the Doctor watched with envy as he paused by the waterfall to sniff some roses on a bush before he went on his merry way. The Doctor listened to him whistling as he rounded the bend and disappeared from sight. Then, he rose and hurried after him.

He rounded the bend and froze when he saw Alan. Alan was ten feet from him, standing stock still while a monarch butterfly perched on his tousle. Alan put his finger to his lips.

"Friend visitin'," he mouthed to the Doctor and he pointed up to the butterfly.

Both of them stood still while the butterfly sat on Alan's tousle and casually opened and closed its wings. Then after a minute, the butterfly took flight and Alan waved to it as it flew away.

"Have a good day, little mate," Alan said.

He smiled at the Doctor.

"Just standin' here, mindin' my own business and here he comes and settles in my hair. So I thought I'd let the little bugger rest a bit," he said, walking over to the Doctor.

He stopped when he noticed the sad look on his brother's face and Alan sighed.

"Okay, Mister Dour Sour, now what's happened?" he said.

The Doctor explained about rescuing the Ochak civilization from the evil overlord, Remulak and about the deaths of the innocent Ochakians. Alan listened quietly and nodded from time to time while the Doctor related what happened. When the Doctor finally finished, Alan stood for a moment, saying nothing, and then beckoned to the Doctor to follow him. The Doctor, perplexed, did what he asked and Alan led him off the path, past the flowers and bushes into the woods. The Doctor followed behind him, wondering where he was going, but Alan said nothing, didn't even whistle as he led his brother through the woods.

Then they came to a clearing and Alan sat down on the ground. He indicated to the Doctor that he was to sit down beside him and the Doctor did so. They didn't speak for a few minutes, listening to the birdsong and watching the butterflies flying around them and then Alan cleared his throat.

"I like your garden room. Mine isn't that big yet but Daisy's workin' on it," he said to him. "I've always loved to come here and just sit and breathe and just be for awhile. You know, Brother, you and I are always doing, doing, doing and sometimes it just helps to stop and do nothing and just be."

Alan closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

"Do what I do. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing," he said to the Doctor.

The Doctor closed his eyes and deepened his breathing.

"Yes, that's right. Just concentrate on your breathing and relax," Alan said as he kept his eyes closed. "Just let everything go and don't worry about what happened today. You did all that you could and that's all anyone can ask of you. You can't control everything that happens, my Brother, sometimes you have to just let things be and accept what is and if you do that, peace will come."

The Doctor kept his eyes closed and his breathing deepened as he let himself relax. As he did that, he felt the last of his anger and frustration and sadness melt away and he felt peace and calm descending on him. He stayed that way for ten minutes in silent mediation before he opened his eyes, relaxed and refreshed. He looked at Alan and noticed his brother was now sitting with his back against a nearby tree, watching him intently.

"I'm proud of you, Brother," Alan said to him. "Even if no one else thinks so, I am very proud of you and I know you did your very, very best today and that's all that you can do."

The Doctor's eyes misted over and he got up, walked over to him and bent over for a hug.

"Ooo, huggies are extra nice," Alan said as he hugged him back.

"Thank you," the Doctor said as he hugged him. "Thank you for being there for me and always understanding what I'm going through."

"Well, gee, I can't help but understand. I'm your clone, you daffy git."

He snickered when the Doctor playfully smacked his back.

"In all seriousness," he said as the Doctor leaned back up, "I know you and I know how hard it is for you to accept when people die but unfortunately, that's the nature of the beast sometimes. You have to think of the positive aspects of what you did and try to let go of the negative, otherwise you'll drive yourself crazy with a zillion what ifs. If you ever find yourself in that situation again, just come here and do what I told you to do and just be. You can't be everywhere at once and you can't be everyone's minder. Sometimes, things have to happen and you have to accept that, Brother. We're time travelers, not gods. Well…you're not. I, of course, am a total studly god and Rose thinks so, but the point is…"

He grinned when the Doctor giggled at that and he put an arm around his brother's shoulder.

"You know, I love all my family but you're one of the ones I couldn't bear to live without. I've had nightmares in the past about you dying."

Alan raised his eyebrow.

"You dream about me dying, what kind of sick git are you?" he teased while the Doctor chuckled. "Still, I have nightmares about you dying is better than get the hell outta my TARDIS you genocidal clone and never come back!"

"I realized long ago that was a severe error in judgment."

"Damn straight it was, Doccy-boy, I'm too cute to be stranded on Earth."

The Doctor stared at him.

"What does being cute have to do with it?" he asked.

"I'm just cute, is all," Alan said, shrugging.

The Doctor chuckled and leaned his head against the side of Alan's head.

"Ooo, nuzzlies, just as good as huggies in my book," Alan said as the Doctor sent love into his mind. "Although…does this mean we're getting married? Because even though it would be fun to freak everyone out when you marry your clone, we might be breaking many laws of nature, known and unknown. Plus, Rain Pain would be my wife and that would be cause for vomiting in the loo, you know, so think long and hard before you commit."

The Doctor giggled.

"I say, let's throw caution to the wind and do it," he said.

He laughed when Alan's eyes widened and he began to scoot away.

"Easy now, Romeo, my door doesn't swing both ways," he said as the Doctor sniggered.

Alan smiled, put his hand on his brothers' shoulder and touched foreheads with him.

"Ever need me to cheer you up, give me a holler on the old telepathic blower," he said to him.

"I will and thank you for coming along at just the right time," the Doctor said.

"Oh that was no accident. I was walking along, minding my own business, when a butterfly from your menagerie who somehow escaped fluttered down and landed on me nose. Then it screamed, "HEY! YOUR BROTHER IS BEING A DOUR SOUR AGAIN IN THE GARDEN ROOM. GO AND CHEER HIM UP!" and I said, "Okay, I will Mister Loud, Obnoxious, Magical Talking Butterfly," and he flew away and I hurried over here. Course when I saw ya, I pretended not to notice you were in distress because as you know, I'm painfully shy and hesitant to speak out."

He grinned when the Doctor snorted loudly at that and he patted him on the shoulder.

"Listen, I'm feeling a bit peckish after our Zen lesson. Chinese?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Well, come along then. We can have a brotherly dinner and reminisce about things you did over some egg rolls and won ton."

The Doctor nodded. Alan patted him on the shoulder and both of them stood up and headed back towards the garden path.

THE END.


End file.
